I have always wanted to pursue work that could help people live their lives as healthily and sustainably as possible. Initially, it seemed the best way to do this was to help people transform their external environment, literally their communities and workplaces to support them in their quest for health and balance. I started out with a Master of Public Health (MPH) to test out my theory in a number of different settings. One of those settings was as a health educator in a local health department in North Carolina. I worked with community residents to identify key health issues affecting their community and then implement solutions, like organizing exercises classes and walking clubs and training community members to be lay health resources. Although I enjoyed that work, there was a gap for me. By focusing on community level solutions, somehow we sometimes missed affecting deeper individual level needs for health and well being. After the health department, I focused my skills to truly try to understand what made public health programs work, how to assess what effect they were having on individuals, on the community or the organization, as well as how to make them more effective. I worked as a program evaluator, both designing and conducting evaluations, as well as training and supporting others how to conduct evaluations of their own programs.
I learned some remarkable lessons from those experiences, such as how frustrating it can be when the changes to the external environment are dependent on forces and people over which you have little control. I also learned that I have a unique ability to understand and integrate many complex details into a wholistic picture and visualize the next levels of progression. As an evaluator, I was essentially a mirror to my clients, helping them see the true picture and impact of their programs, yet envision ways to improve upon the current reality. Above all, though, I realized that it always comes back to the individual. A question that always arose for me in every setting was, do the individuals in the larger groups have the internal reserves to contribute to the whole in a way that is meaningful to them.
As is always the case, my personal life was giving me ample opportunity to apply all of these lessons I was learning to my own life. I was willing to put my all into these projects to the point of depletion, often ignoring my own body. These experiences reinforced for me not only how important taking care of myself is, but how important it is for me to be fully present and aware of my own body and my own individual needs for health and well being. I started noticing where I was finding my own comfort, healing, and joy, and that was with plants and in nature. In the wake of 9/11, I realized how short life is and how important it is to, as the Sufi poet Rumi says, “let the beauty we love be what we do.” As much as I dearly loved and love public health, it did not inspire me the way that working with herbs does and continues to do.
And I realized that how any of us find joy, health, love, and manage to have a positive impact in the world comes from the inside out, not the outside (external environment) in. I once had a teacher who told me that if you listen to someone long enough, they will tell you exactly what they need to heal. This is a remarkable truth, that our body’s have an amazing capacity to heal themselves, and that we have, within ourselves, an equally amazing knowledge of what we truly need to be healthy. I began and maintain my herbal practice with the intention of supporting individuals in sustaining an internal environment that stimulates their body’s own healing capacity. I try always to be aware of what an honor and gift it is to hear others’ stories and to witness and be a part of their healing process.
Being an herbalist is a rather unconventional vocation. A vocation that, as I have found, is not something that the majority of people recognize and understand, which means that I am engaged in a continual educational process. But, as I see it, a vocation is not simply a job, but really a way of living in the world. It has also meant that hanging out my shingle as an herbalist has been a leap of faith, as well as a risk. Medical herbalism is beginning to become more mainstream; however, there is a long way to go before it is an accepted and integrated part of healthcare in the United States. Especially before herbs are embraced fully as the safe and efficacious therapy they are.
I hope that by joining the very small number of practicing clinical herbalists that I can be a part of creating a healthcare system that honors and promotes truly preventive healthcare, that integrates the very best of all models of healthcare, that does not motivate people with fear or shame, as well as a system that is sustainable for both individuals and for the earth. This vision grounds me and gives me a larger context for what I do. I have come to realize that the imprint of who I am is reflected in every bit of the inner workings of my practice, from the inventory system to the herbal formulas I create.
All of this serves as a reminder to me to find meaning and joy in the most simplest of tasks, and to look for new ways that I can continue to be an active part of creating this vision. Perhaps the most inspiring and gratifying part of being an herbalist is in watching how herbs have affected the lives of the people I have had the honor of working with, such as a 17 year old young women with severe menstrual pain and insomnia for whom herbs have completely eliminated her pain and restored her sleep, the man with Irritable Bowel Syndrome for whom herbs have resolved all signs and symptoms when no other medicine was working for him, or the woman with a diagnosis of asthma and sinus congestion and pain that was impeding her daily running for whom herbs resolved all signs and symptoms (and increased distance and decreased time in her running). Most of all, I am glad to know that more people have tried herbs and experienced their benefits.
